Go to Couples Therapy or Sex Therapy

Go to Couples Therapy or Sex Therapy

A couple’s sex life can be an important indicator of how healthy their relationship is. So if you or your partner are struggling with low desire or libido, it could be stemming from unrelated factors that you don’t even know about.

Understanding Sexual Desire

Sexual desire is a lot more complex than just being attracted to your partner. There are three types of sexual desire that influence your sex life. Understanding the different types of desire and which ones you and your partner is have in any given moment is important to your long-term relationship.

Spontaneous Sexual Desire

Spontaneous sexual desire is exactly what it sounds like; you’re minding your business and a thought pops into your head that turns you on. If this doesn’t sound familiar to you, that’s okay. This is because spontaneous sexual desire only occurs in 75% of men and 15% of women.

That means that 25% of men and 85% of women don’t get turned on without some type of stimulation. For many couples, one person will initiate sex most of the time. Then they’ll worry that their partner isn’t interested in them anymore. Typically, it’s just because their partner doesn’t experience spontaneous sexual desire.

Responsive Sexual Desire

Responsive sexual desire is when you’re turned on in response to some sort of stimulation. If you’re not in the mood but your partner kisses you and turns you on, that’s responsive sexual desire. People who get responsive sexual desire typically rely on their partner to initiate anything sexual.

Contextual Sexual Desire

Contextual sexual desire is when your libido is affected by the other circumstances in your life. Some examples of contexts that might turn you off include:

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