Relationship advice for people looking for love.
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First Date Mistakes
Everyone is guilty of first date mistakes! Here are some of the most common dating blunders - and how you can make the best out of a bad situation. Now that you have hit it off pretty well by email, text, phone, you and your partner were excited about meeting in person. Unfortunately, your first date went south from the start. Now that you’re home alone again and all is quiet – your thinking that just maybe you should have handled things a little differently. Have you blown your chance at getting to know this person better? Or is it still possible to save this potential relationship?
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First dates can seem like you’re crawling through a minefield. Expectations and nervousness run high, making it easy to misstep and create the wrong impression.
Here are a few common first date mistakes, along with ideas for minimizing the damage:
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Don’t talk too much about yourself.
You dominated the conversation and hogged the limelight. Your date could hardly get a word in, and you fear you came across egotistical and self-absorbed. If you can convince your love interest that your verbosity was due to jitters and that you’d appreciate a do-over, you may get a second chance. Admit that you monopolized the conversation and vow that next time the focus will be reversed.
Showing up late is a no no.
Perhaps you couldn’t decide what to wear, forgot to print out directions, or got stuck in traffic. Whatever the reason, being late definitely put a damper on the evening. Your lack of punctuality left your date wondering, Do I really matter? Your best chance at being forgiven is sincere contrition. Offer a genuine apology without groveling (which usually makes things worse). If you can admit the gravity of your crime, you may win yourself a second chance. A dash of humor doesn’t hurt either:
Create a poem or limerick declaring your guilt and vowing to do better next time. Anytime you need to admit a mistake and seek a second chance, humor can be your ally. Sometimes the best way to someone’s heart is through a smile.
Too much talk about your ex.
If this is what occurred during your date, no wonder you’re feeling like you got off on the wrong foot. Talking in detail about an ex, you may have sent the message that you’re still stuck in the past and unprepared to move on.
To remedy this, send a thank you note to your date acknowledging the enjoyable time together and add something along these lines: “Thanks for listening as I rehashed my history. It’s nice to learn more about each others’ backgrounds, but the next time I see you I promise to leave the heavy baggage at home. I’m looking forward to sharing with you who I am today—and even more excited about discovering who you are as well.”
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Over-eagerness.
Sometimes when people connect so well on email or phone that they approach their first face-to-face meeting with sky-high expectations.It’s easy to go overboard in your enthusiasm to make a good impression and signal your interest. You may laugh too much at your date’s stories, or give too many compliments, or be too flirty or flatter to the point of being annoying.
The answer to this problem is just to stop it. Resolve to yourself to be genuine and authentic from here on out. Next, if it’s appropriate, mention in subsequent communication that you were feeling out of sorts and you look forward to the next get-together, when you’ll be more at ease. Leave it there. You’ll only compound the problem with excessive explanations and excuses.
Finally just fess up, be responsible and offer a heartfelt apology for less-than-sterling behavior. Usually, with humility, humor, and honesty, you can overcome a first-date fiasco and get a second chance to explore the relationship. Last but not least, cut yourself some slack. Nearly everyone who has been on more than a few dates has endured an embarrassing faux pas. Think about whether you two are increasingly revealing to each other your inner thoughts and feelings. If so, that’s a good sign for your relationship.
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