Energy Level – If she likes to go dancing three times a week and then likes to sit on the couch the rest of the week…look out.
Personal Habits – This includes punctuality, cleanliness, weight management, smoking or drinking.
Financial – If one person likes to save for the future and the other wants to spend and enjoy life now; the conflict can be deadly to a relationship.
Verbal Skills and Interests – If one person is really out going and always seeking more conversation and the other person wants to have piece and quiet, this could cause a lot of stress.
Considering all of these points, there is one personality trait that can mitigate the danger of a relationship between opposites. Flexibility allows people to consider differences, evaluate them, propose alternative ideas and then resolve them. Of course, it’s vital that the two parties are willing to compromise. When one partner is always the flexible one, the relationship can become unbalanced.
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The next time you’re feeling attracted to someone you know is dramatically different than you, consider moving on. One of the biggest principles to consider when choosing a mate revolves around reality. If your goal is to have a stable marriage, it’s usually best if both people have lots of similar qualities. From time to time we hear, If you want to find a someone great for yourself, look for someone who is the opposite of you. Is this really the best approach? How can someone who has a totally different set of values, interest and hobbies be the right one for you? People who are completely different from us are often the ones we find most attractive. Our lives are usually enriched by relationships with others who have strengths that we don’t have. Unfortunately, following this principal to our romantic interest is often a recipe for disaster.
If the qualities that attract you to someone are different from your own, be weary, While opposites often attract, they also usually drive each other crazy in the long run. Not discounting how hard it is to find someone who is similar to you. It has always proven difficult and it’s even becoming more so, as diversity increases. When two people come from dramatically similar backgrounds, they each operate from their own position of strength. Their relationship is made significantly easier by all the customs and practices they have in common.”
Pursuing a relationship with an opposite is difficult because every difference you have almost requires a special negotiation. This can create stress and if there are too many differences, you may not be able to overcome the strains involved in getting to know each other.
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