Relationship advice for people looking for love.
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Wrong Match or is the struggle worth it?
A good relationship is one in which both partners feeling supported, respected and caring for each other. A healthy relationship is made up of mature individuals who make every effort to show each other love and not take each other for granted. If you haven’t experienced these positive emotions, then this could be a signal that you're in the wrong relationship and should move on.
The issue may boil down to your partner simply isn't the right person for you. Maybe he or she has issues that need to be dealt with irrespective of you. He or she may need to get healthy as an individual before an intimate relationship is even a possibility. But regardless of the reason, if your partner isn't able or willing to offer the care, support, respect and happiness you deserve, then that means it's time for you to move on. Here are a few questions you may want to consider:
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1. Have you noticed any substantial character flaws or red flags that signal your partner isn't capable of being relied on as a true partner?
2. Are you not being treated like you know you should be treated?
3. Do you feel like your needs are being ignored, even when you explicitly express your concern about them?
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Be completely honest with yourself as you think about these questions. You may determine that your partner is actually the kind of companion you want to continue to share your life with but you may just choose the opposite direction. The main point is that sometimes you really should be willing to call a spade a spade. If you know the person you're seeing just can't (or won't) help you create the kind of relationship you want then it's time to move on to other pastures with someone else who can and will.
Time to move forward –Together.
The two of you may just be going through some growing pains as your relationship matures and you get to know each other better. Or maybe there are some individual life circumstances that are impacting you; after all, stress can disrupt even the best of relationships. It's always important to remember that there are always going to be struggles in all partnerships.
If you both still believe in a relationship together you can use these challenging times as an opportunity to deepen and strengthen your relationship so that you can each improve the ways you communicate and deal with conflict. One problem couples often face is that they believe that being in a relationship is ultimately about the thrill and excitement of being in love.
So when tough times come they assume that their relationship is over. But as anyone who's been in a successful long-term relationship will tell you, those feelings of excitement come and go. What creates a deep and fulfilling relationship is a willingness to create a strong foundation and build on it so you can experience a loving connection that's much deeper than those initial feelings of excitement.
Your ability to communicate, trust, compromise, establish intimacy and support each other form the foundation for any intimate relationship. If you haven't developed these skills yet then not only will it be difficult to make your current relationship work successfully but you'll have a hard time making any future ones work as well.
The issue is whether your relationship has the potential to become what you want it to be. Consider the following questions:
1. Are there enough positives about this relationship to justify the effort required to maintain and strengthen it?
2. Are both of you willing to put in the work necessary to develop and improve your relationship?
3. Will you both be patient and giving with each other as you work through the issues?
What will it take to get your relationship from where it is, to where you want it to be?
If you determine that either you or your partner is unable to make the adjustments necessary to create a fulfilling and healthy partnership then it's going to be hard to maintain the relationship's strength and vitality, no less help it improve in any truly notable way. However, if the problems you are experiencing can be resolved by better communication, sacrifice and understanding, then this is not the time to give up.
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